The Emotional Blueprint: What is it?
I have always been fascinated by what shapes us and our identity. What makes us, well us?
The many questions in my mind led me on a path.
I was always curious. How come we experience certain patterns of thoughts? Why do we experience certain feelings more than others? Why do many of us engage in the same behaviours again and again despite them being harmful? It was only when I did my Bachelors in Human Psychology that the pieces of the puzzle started to come together. But the picture was incomplete and I didn’t know it at the time but it would be years later, that I would gain a holistic understanding of the Human Psyche as I became equipped with Islamic Psychology.
Decades of work, research, training and education has led me to formulate the Emotional Blueprint Decoder.
What is an EMotional Blueprint?
Each of us has a unique Emotional Blueprint. Like a script of life. It contains our unique patterns of thoughts, beliefs, feelings and behaviours. Often these are a result of our own past experiences but many of these are patterns that span generations. How you respond to situations today as an adult is a result of how generations before you responded to events and situations and this is hard wired into your DNA. It is only when you become conscious and mindful of these patterns, that you are able to take intentional steps towards positive change.
How does the emotional Blueprint form?
The Prophet stated that every child is born on the Fitrah: the pure, authentic self. Babies have no knowledge but God gives them a mind to start interpreting the world around them, what they see, what they hear, good vs bad etc and the environment begins to imprint on the child’s blueprint. Western Psychology has also debated nature vs nurture and I find that humans are multi-faceted and complex so can not be reduced to mere physical beings with a mind or just be a product of nature. We have a heart, a soul, a mind, DNA, a body; all which are interlinked and serve a particular purpose that goes beyond the physical.
During my research exploring generational patterns, it became apparent that whilst the environment played a part in creating our Emotional Blueprint, often patterns of thoughts, beliefs, feelings and behaviours spanned generations. Often these were passed down via language, story-telling, guidance and advice within family systems. There is also evidence of trauma being induced through in-utero exposure where a fetus may have been exposed to chemicals (like cortisol) involved in maternal stress and through epigenetic changes which alter an individuals DNA as a result of traumatic experiences.
For example, a client shared how marriage just meant sacrifice and she was not happy in her relationship. As we started exploring her history and script, it became apparent that she had seen women in her family be subservient, sacrifice their own needs and pour into all those around them without a thought to their own health, happiness and desires. She had grown up with the messages that to be a ‘good wife’ you had to serve your children and husband and this was seen as an accomplishment. The worth of the woman was heavily tied to her role as a wife and her sole purpose was to be a good wife and mother. For generations, women in her family did not have an individual identity and they were viewed in relation to how good a wife they were, the identity of their husband and how well they kept their home.
These unconscious beliefs were deeply entrenched in my clients DNA, and thus embedded in her blueprint as absolute truths. As a consequence, she was unfulfilled and felt trapped in her marriage because unknowingly she sacrificed her own dreams and ambitions to prove that she was a good mother and wife. Once she became aware of these patterns, she was able to make a choice and consciously decide how she wanted to be and create her own definition of what a good mum/wife was. This is when the blueprint begins to alter and you start to create the ripples of change.
How can we identify the patterns in our blueprint?
Think about different situations. When something happens, what is your immediate reaction or interpretation of it? You will experience thoughts, feelings and respond in a specific way. What beliefs underpin how you perceived that situation? You will find that when you become more conscious of your own internal state, you will start to see patterns emerge. Patterns of thoughts, feelings, behaviours, beliefs and perception which are influenced by your experiences and some which are inherited, all subconsciously driving your life and choices. That is until you make conscious & intentional changes.
Think of it this way: You have a library of thoughts, feelings and actions that you access and which shape your reality as truths. But they are not absolute truths, they are your truths shaped by your experiences and you can change them at any point. We hold onto patterns of behaviours, thoughts, beliefs and feelings about relationships, health, money, success, our worth and love. If these are unhealthy patterns and we just echo them without conscious awareness; they become self-fulfilling prophecies. A rich, meaningful and fulfilled life remains allusive to us.
For example, if the belief that you are not worthy of love underpins how you behave in relationships then most likely you will people-please and adapt to meet others expectations of you in order to ‘earn’ their love. The change needs to take place at a deeper level with your sense of worth which alters your Emotional Blueprint and consequently how you behave in relationships.
steps towards change
God has blessed us all with the freedom of choice. We can choose to continue to repeat patterns or become the change. Thoughts, behaviours and feelings which were relevant for a particular era, situation or generation may have now outlived there usefulness.
If you are ready to expand beyond the subconscious patterns you carry, click here to start Emotional Blueprint Decoding.
